Adding a few layers to the self…

One of the weekends a few months ago I was hell bent on visiting the Cholamandalam arts village on the ECR and preferably alone. I kind of liked doing it alone that weekend. On a hot afternoon, took my two wheeler and reached the art gallery. I’ve visited this place once before, but this time I was in search of something. I wanted to find out if I can absorb some inspiration for new thoughts. Thought that would be refreshing. I wanted to see what comes to my mind when I see the paintings and sculpture. The freedom the art forms give for interpretation is something I enjoyed. And as I expected some paintings gave food for thought and served as inspiration for my poems- my kavidhais. In fact the inspiration was more for me as a person than for my kavidhais. I went there like an open vessel, ready to be filled in and what I received was overwhelming.

I observed how the two genders interpret each other and how these worlds are different and alike, how the natural self is constrained by the learnt self and how artists preserve their natural self or probably not allow to pollute their natural self. I got new perspectives on the way world is perceived by different people, the equation between the dominant and the subordinate and their role in having an effect on each other in every aspect of life and in every relationship. I got reminded of how the widely perceived notions might just be communicated to be perceived that way and need not necessarily be the truth. One of the paintings of Krishna with his gopikas made me feel this way. I just felt that usually gopikas go in search of Krishna and he has the reins in his hands. But the painting I saw showed something different. I felt gopikas were in complete control through their love and Krishna was following their wand. Why dint I ever think of this?

There was another painting the thought of which lingers in my head almost everyday after I saw that. It was a beautiful painting of a woman, probably a queen or a professional cart rider who effortlessly drives her horse cart. The character portrayed was so intense and an inspiration. She lay back in the cart with one hand on the horse's reins, her hair flying so gracefully. The effortless knack with which she rode the cart showed her professional skill and how that skill turned out to be her second nature. She displayed a style and looked like a leader. She looked like she was lost in her thoughts which she cherished. The scene was so poetic with the breeze that gently blew her hair and clothes. Probably the painting was a perfect portrayal of an ideal self that I would admire and I could relate so much to it.

My next observation revolved around woman and the less spoken aspects of her. There were a few paintings that revealed the self sufficient aspect of a woman. A plethora of characteristics and skills and inborn nature makes her so close to being a complete self. The innate beauty in her, the grace in her ways, never grows out of style. The power and leadership she displays is so adorable. One other thought that popped in my head was about the concept of beauty. The thought was about how we are taught what comprises beauty and what not. This learning strains our natural choice and eventually makes us a consumer of popular notion rather than recognizing our natural inclination.

I wanted to spend more time there in the gallery. Observing and interpreting one after the other made me realize that thoughts and ideas are just lying somewhere within a person, and the external artifacts are just needed to tick the inspiration off to the surface. We always need reminders, to tell us who we are, what we are capable of. Sometimes it takes years to wake up from the slumber, but the wait is worth it. The journey in search of the lost or the forgotten gives so many new learnings, wild experiences, unexpected turns and a completely surprising view about ourselves. Every step adds a new layer to a person and changes, and changes, and evolves him/her to a completely new self, that remained undiscovered for years together. Introspection brings realization of the quantum of transformation that has happened. Changed perspectives make us laugh at ourselves, revive relationships, give them a new meaning, creates new bonds, revives old bonds. Unworthy leaves and deserving stays. Losing oneself to the journey is the key.