In pursuit of finding home...

Home is a place where one finds her best self. Its a place where one feels authentic. Finding and being at home is a whole new experience and takes one by surprise. Once it is found and its potential experienced then there's a constant struggle to align with it again.. The external and internal settings are adjusted one after the other and tested to recreate the surprise. But it doesn't give in. It happens at the least expected moment- the magic, the surprise. This is the best ever, one would have seen and experienced of oneself. The existence of something that one might not even be aware of. It is about believing that what comes from within is enormous and not rationally cognizable.  It is about not shutting the doors. It is about allowing it to happen. It is about not judging it when it is a sapling. It is about not being ashamed of the original, the fresh. This thing is so very promising, as it can create a whole new world, a whole new revolution.

There is a constant luring by the neighbors-abundance and fundamentals. They in fact encroach so much at times that one is deceived into believing that the self is diluted into them and has become one with them. They belittle the existence of the self and make it flee for sustenance. It takes a lot of strength to see the truth, to develop a belief.

When the first step is believing in the power of alignment, the next would be to agree that we choose our audience. We are not really looking forward for the entire world to buy the creation. Deep down we know who we consider. Sometimes the consideration set is limited to the creator. In that case, its the absolute love of creating, being the best self, being at home that matters of all.

You never know where i find MY space

The Dreadful "More"

Is the availability of "more" ruining our treasured intimacies with the special some? Are we subjecting ourselves to abuse?  The "more" is usually used as an unmindful diversion technique or a false pacifier to appease the inner wants. What it ultimately ends up doing is that it leaves a tired and abused inner self, something that goes numb even for a long cherished. In spite of looking up for the  intimacy that we once shared with the long cherished, it really doesn't show up, leaving us searching for it. The thing about "more" is that it puts us on a waiting mode for the ultimate satisfaction to occur, be it the setting in of the lost intimacy or the feeling of “yes I've done everything that was deprived of me for long”. But eventually what results is the numb inner self that is not sure of whether it has received everything it wanted.

The numbness extends itself to hinder our ability to relish or create. In our pursuit of doing more, we tend to do things for the sake of doing and not because we mean to do them. It becomes more of an internal and external compulsion to keep doing. It sets expectations and creates a virtual gap that could be understood instinctively. The moment our words or actions lose their meaning, life walks out. “More” could be a natural choice or  something motivated by availability. Either way, it is not helping.

What does it take to resurrect the abused inner self, to rejuvenate the inner self muscles, to regain the lost intimacies and get the life flowing in them again? Time and silence.

We are in need of so much silence to hear the voice of direction again. It actually needs us to leave the space and wander around without actively thinking about the lost intimacy or the process for reviving it. It needs us to let go of the agitation to know why we've lost and how to regain.

The little secret with children

A friend asked me what makes me go back to work with children. As i was pondering over this question, she hinted about her motivation. She is a person who quit her well-paid job with an advertising agency to start working with children. Beyond feeling life's purpose, the one thing that makes her go back to children she said is that they don't get judgemental. In adult's world it is such a rare scenario. 

Over weekends, I work with children from a community organization. What motivates me is that they exist as symbols of hope for change. If i can open their minds to look for knowledge and help them start thinking big, then i'm moving in the right direction.

My dad often tells me that if someone does not know the value of something do not give them that. I agree. There is nothing more discouraging than people taking things for granted. But when i work with children this never occurs. Does that mean that all children grab their opportunity to learn with both the hands? No. But it does not deter people like my friend and me from going back to work with them. Trying to understand why we will find that it is because we forgive children. We allow them to make mistakes. We give them several chances. And its not just us who are contributing to this relationship, children play an equally important role. They are more open to change when compared to adults. Change is easier in their world. They are excited and open about their feelings. They don't feel shy to talk their mind. They don't weigh brains over hearts. They tend to be their natural selves. They are comparatively more in touch with their core when compared to adults. 

When there is openness to think big, there is hope for a better, bigger world. There is hope for a world that is functioning at its highest possible level.

Making sense with a little silence

I overheard a conversation between two fellow movie audience members during the break --  "this movie has been shot in a short film style. It doesn’t look like a full length feature film". I personally feel it doesn’t matter. The movie is yet another interesting attempt by burgeoning movie makers and of course Balaji Mohan is to be observed closely going forward, because one cannot fake it for the second time :-P. Vaayai Moodi Paesavum is quite a witty take on several important serious issues in the society today. They've tried to wrap it around the most forgotten, extremely essential message - "Just shut the trap. Talk  what is right at the right time". How often do we forget when to close our mouth? Whether it makes sense or not, whether it is called for or not, whether it affects someone or not, we continue yapping. Most of the ruckus around can be cleared  with just minding what one speaks and speaking the right thing at the right time. yes, I'm happy about the moral of the story. And I should say that the crew has done justice to the way it has been written and shot. There was a clear, detailed definition of the lead characters in the movie. Dulquer Salmaan is fresh to Tamil cinema. What brings a relief is that he has dubbed in his own voice and his accent does not have a Malayalam influence to it. Nazriya who is most often trapped in a bubbly-young-girl image has tried the flip side in this movie. The contrast between the lead characters and how they come along is written in an interesting manner.

 

Apart from the main plot, the sub-plots keep the rhythm going. The sustained silence brings out the most precious in each of the characters. There was realization and discovery in each of them portrayed, right from the artistically inclined kid to the non-forgiving old couple.  It would be absurd not be intrigued by the name “Vedanthangal Veedu” (“Annai Illam” and “Siragugal” are the most repeated when it comes to Tamil movies. It was such a relief to see something different.). Just shows how thoughtful the creative team had been. The obvious spoof of the media TRP drama and hunger strikes cannot be forgotten. what makes it all the more funnier is how “Javvu mittai” makes and breaks relationships ;-)

 

The challenge  when it comes to this movie was the half an hour of the film of complete silence-the non-yapping zone. In fact it made me feel it would be awesome to have something like that in reality. For a movie, it is a risky attempt. You might lose the audience if they do not understand what you are trying to convey or if they are simply bored. Balaji has tried to use simple gestures and easy to understand conversations (of course without opening the mouth) to keep it simple. The re-recording definitely deserves an applause for this half an hour. The music helped in conveying the message better when everything else was silent. It wasn’t overpowering neither was it underplaying. To keep up with the funny tone set right from the beginning, the usage of back ground music similar to that of "Silent movie era"(yes, I got reminded of Charlie Chaplin movies) has helped. Though not all the songs caught my attention, "Kadhal ara onnu vizhundhuchu" is in my playlist. Muthamizh has come up with some interesting metaphors in this song. ShakthiShree Gopalan need not have been roped in for this number. Any singer would have done justice, a talent as unique as Shakthishree was not required. "Sundaralingam sir" quick cut song was creative. Usage of fresh faces always delights me. Good acting skills is more than a plus. Apart from the introduction of fresh faces, this movie has brought back some of the experienced artists after a long break. Madhu Bala and Vinuchakravarthi are not to be forgotten. Lovely MadhuBala in specific has come back with so much grace. I would love to look as young and lovely as her when I’m in my forties;-) Her character portrayal was also very special. People will definitely remember her for this role.

 

I would say there was message overload for one movie. Too many takeaways  at one go. But my best bet was “A little silence could stir things up to the level of re-discovering or transforming oneself bringing the best to the surface. Shouldn’t hurt to try it sometime”.

Adding a few layers to the self…

One of the weekends a few months ago I was hell bent on visiting the Cholamandalam arts village on the ECR and preferably alone. I kind of liked doing it alone that weekend. On a hot afternoon, took my two wheeler and reached the art gallery. I’ve visited this place once before, but this time I was in search of something. I wanted to find out if I can absorb some inspiration for new thoughts. Thought that would be refreshing. I wanted to see what comes to my mind when I see the paintings and sculpture. The freedom the art forms give for interpretation is something I enjoyed. And as I expected some paintings gave food for thought and served as inspiration for my poems- my kavidhais. In fact the inspiration was more for me as a person than for my kavidhais. I went there like an open vessel, ready to be filled in and what I received was overwhelming.

I observed how the two genders interpret each other and how these worlds are different and alike, how the natural self is constrained by the learnt self and how artists preserve their natural self or probably not allow to pollute their natural self. I got new perspectives on the way world is perceived by different people, the equation between the dominant and the subordinate and their role in having an effect on each other in every aspect of life and in every relationship. I got reminded of how the widely perceived notions might just be communicated to be perceived that way and need not necessarily be the truth. One of the paintings of Krishna with his gopikas made me feel this way. I just felt that usually gopikas go in search of Krishna and he has the reins in his hands. But the painting I saw showed something different. I felt gopikas were in complete control through their love and Krishna was following their wand. Why dint I ever think of this?

There was another painting the thought of which lingers in my head almost everyday after I saw that. It was a beautiful painting of a woman, probably a queen or a professional cart rider who effortlessly drives her horse cart. The character portrayed was so intense and an inspiration. She lay back in the cart with one hand on the horse's reins, her hair flying so gracefully. The effortless knack with which she rode the cart showed her professional skill and how that skill turned out to be her second nature. She displayed a style and looked like a leader. She looked like she was lost in her thoughts which she cherished. The scene was so poetic with the breeze that gently blew her hair and clothes. Probably the painting was a perfect portrayal of an ideal self that I would admire and I could relate so much to it.

My next observation revolved around woman and the less spoken aspects of her. There were a few paintings that revealed the self sufficient aspect of a woman. A plethora of characteristics and skills and inborn nature makes her so close to being a complete self. The innate beauty in her, the grace in her ways, never grows out of style. The power and leadership she displays is so adorable. One other thought that popped in my head was about the concept of beauty. The thought was about how we are taught what comprises beauty and what not. This learning strains our natural choice and eventually makes us a consumer of popular notion rather than recognizing our natural inclination.

I wanted to spend more time there in the gallery. Observing and interpreting one after the other made me realize that thoughts and ideas are just lying somewhere within a person, and the external artifacts are just needed to tick the inspiration off to the surface. We always need reminders, to tell us who we are, what we are capable of. Sometimes it takes years to wake up from the slumber, but the wait is worth it. The journey in search of the lost or the forgotten gives so many new learnings, wild experiences, unexpected turns and a completely surprising view about ourselves. Every step adds a new layer to a person and changes, and changes, and evolves him/her to a completely new self, that remained undiscovered for years together. Introspection brings realization of the quantum of transformation that has happened. Changed perspectives make us laugh at ourselves, revive relationships, give them a new meaning, creates new bonds, revives old bonds. Unworthy leaves and deserving stays. Losing oneself to the journey is the key.